Cooking Champ Challenge!
by Miyozuki Friidomo
Summary: Who has the skills to become the new cook for the castle until next week? Coming soon: Chapter 6. Don't miss it!
1. Default Chapter

Cooking Champ Challenge!  
------------------------  
  
"Darndarndarndarndarndarndarndarn!"  
  
The repetetive cursing was accompanied by the clash and clatter of pots and pans. It was near sunset in the castle formerly known as North Window. Within the depths of the kitchen, which was a whole one door away from the dining room, a small, round cook, with an all-too-thin mustache and a rather crazy expression upon his face, was attempting to create the ultimate dish within his arsenal!   
  
And failing miserably.  
  
"Why can I never get this right?!" shouted Hai Yo, the official cook of the castle.   
  
The odd chef was practicing for a challenge that had been issued to him via the castle's recently installed postal system. It said the master of culinary power was to challenge him in one week. This utterly alarmed Hai Yo; if someone said they were a master at culinary power, it had to mean that they knew how to make all the hard dishes: pudding, stew, and even... even...   
  
Hai Yo raised his head in righteous frustration, howling to the ceiling.  
  
"ICE CREEEEEEEAM!"  
  
All of a sudden, the door to the kitchen flew open. Standing there were Viktor, Hix and Hero.  
  
"Did someone say ice cream?" asked Viktor, grinning a large bear-ish type of smile.  
  
"I...I-I'd like some ice cream too..." muttered Hix, his eyes downcast, per usual.  
  
Hero merely nodded quickly.  
  
"No, no, no, no, no! I can't make the accursed dish! I've tried for so long..." Hai Yo responded, on the verge of tears.  
  
Viktor approached the despairing cook, dipping one finger into the bowl of failed ice cream and tasting it. After a moment, he went cross-eyed, sticking out his tongue in disgust.  
  
"Tastes... like... pickle brine... mixed with... Tai Ho's salted fish..."  
  
Hix continued to look nervous, as Hero watched on in sickly consternation.  
  
"Hai Yo, maybe someone else should take your challenge for you next week," offered Viktor.  
  
"But I'm the best one here... there is no one else!"  
  
"M-maybe we should hold a cooking tryout..." said Hix slowly, looking around for approval.  
  
Viktor rubbed his rugged chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Might not be such a bad idea. What do you think, Hero?"  
  
Hero nodded slightly in approval.  
  
"Then it's settled."  
  
Hai Yo sank to the floor.  
  
"I want my mommy..."  
  
***  
  
The next day, dozens of people were packed into the dining room. A large stove and oven had been carried out into the room for all to see. Standing in a line were those who would attempt to test their skills in foodstuff expertise.  
  
Viktor stood behind a table, along with Flik, Hero and Mukumuku (the brave flying squirrel). Grandly, he raised his voice.  
  
"Welcome one and all! Today we shall see who is truly the best at... err... cooking, I guess. Let the first contestant..."  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED- 


	2. Contestant Number One!

CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE - MILLIE!  
-------------------------------  
  
"...Step forward!"  
  
With a spring in her step, a young women dressed in white and blue stepped forward. She wore an odd hat on her head, and a small creature clung to her forearm frightfully.  
  
She bowed quickly, stating her name eagerly.  
  
"I'm Millie! Me and Bonaparte will do the job! Right, Bonaparte?"  
  
If the tiny being was going to answer, Viktor didn't wait to see.  
  
"You may begin, Millie."  
  
With that said, Viktor took his seat, and watched as Millie began to take out kitchen implements. All of a sudden, he nudged Flik with one elbow.  
  
"You know, Flik ol' buddy... Millie's kind of cute from this angle..."  
  
Flik blinked, looking at Viktor.  
  
"What...? Oh." A look of disgust crossed Flik's face as he recognized the bearish grin. "Try and pay attention to the cooking, you pervert."  
  
"Sorry," said Viktor. However, the grin stayed right where it was.  
  
Millie first withdrew a short, circular pot. Filling it with water, she began to sprinkle herbs into it. When she seemed finished with that, she placed it upon a stove, and left it to the flame's heat. She then took a lump of dough, and began to knead it firmly with her knuckles. It became flat within a few minutes, at which time she slid a pan beneath it and lifted both into the air. With a graceful spin, she stuck it into an oven, and bowed quickly to the audience, which applauded the stunt.  
  
"Hey, not bad," murmered Flik.  
  
"I thought I already pointed that out... oh... you meant the stunt. Yeah, pretty good," agreed Viktor.  
  
"Muku!"  
  
Hero smiled in a thoughtful manner, but as usual said nothing. However, everyone's eyes widened as Millie screamed.  
Frantically, Millie was searching around herself.  
  
"Millie, what is it?" asked Flik.  
  
"Bonaparte! Where'd Bonaparte run off to?!" Millie stammered in absolute terror. "Maybe he fell into the oven!"   
  
She quickly slid open the oven door, and looked inside. Seeing nothing but the dough, she shut the oven.   
  
"Oh no, the broth!"  
  
Millie turned toward the pot, which was boiling at this point. She had turned just in time to see it tumble from the force of being rocked back and forth by the overly heated pressure of the stove.  
  
"Oh no, no, no!"  
  
Millie lifted one hand to her mouth in confusion and worry. Shaking her head, she ran outside, screaming "Bonaparte!"  
  
***  
  
Silence hung in the air for a few long moments afterward.  
  
Hesitantly, Viktor stood up, clearing his throat.  
  
"Uhh... I guess Millie's done..."  
  
"I'd say so," said Flik.  
  
"We'd better get the stage ready for the second contestant, huh."  
  
"Muku!"  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED- 


	3. Contestant Number Two!

CONTESTANT NUMBER TWO - CLIVE!  
------------------------------  
  
Viktor cleared his throat, and rose to his feet.   
  
"It seems the stage is set for our next contestant. Clive, step forward please."  
  
From seemingly out of the shadows (quite an impressive stunt, since there were none) came a man shrouded in a dark cloak. The clink of metal was heard as he approached the stage, wearing a darkly stoic look on his face.  
  
"This is going to be a waste of time," said Clive, "But I'll try and give it my all."  
  
Flik nodded approvingly. "He sounds determined."  
  
"Clive, you may begin when you are ready," said Viktor, as he sat in his chair once more.  
  
"I know that."  
  
Without further conversation, the bounty hunter slammed a large hunk of dough upon a table and began to press it firmly with both palms of his hands. Within moments the dough was flat and circular.  
  
"Hey, I think he's making pizza," said Viktor, nudging Flik.  
  
Flik rolled his eyes.  
  
"How long did it take you to get THAT idea?"  
  
By this time, the dough was safely in the oven. Clive was now mixing tomato sauce with small, green herbs and red peppers. Meshing it together, he tasted a bit with his finger. Seeming satisfied, he dipped the tasting finger into a nearby bowl of water, and dried it with a small cloth near the bowl.  
  
Flik nodded approvingly. "He's sanitary, too."  
  
"Muku!"  
  
The gunner turned cook peered toward the depths of the oven. He grasped the handle, but quickly drew back, gasping in surprise. The sound of sizzling meat was heard briefly, but quickly faded.  
  
"Uh oh. It's 'that' oven," said Flik.  
  
Hero frowned worriedly, looking from Flik to Clive.  
  
Flik frowned, muttering, "That oven hasn't been working right for a while. The handle gets too hot to open eventually. Who was checking the hardware for this contest?"  
  
Viktor blinked, realizing quickly what he had forgotten to do the other day.  
  
"Uhh... well that doesn't really matter now does it we really have to just let him fend for himself for now and then maybe we'll give him a retry later but now since his turn is already underway we really shouldn't interfere or point fingers because we really should be judging!"  
  
"...Riiiiiight," responded Flik dryly.  
  
"Muuuuku..."  
  
Hero raised an eyebrow and scratched his head, but appeared to be as unassuming as usual.  
  
Clive cursed beneath his breath.  
  
"That's it... no oven is going to get the best of me."  
  
With a click, Clive's large rifle slid above his arm and beneath his armpit, and he began to line the crosshair of the barrel with the oven door.  
  
People began to cry out in dismay, and chaos was ensuing.  
  
Viktor and Flik's eyes widened, and they both exclaimed "Oh crap! Everyone get down!"   
  
Hero appeared aghast at the sudden panic, ducking beneath the table.  
  
With a high pitched "Muku!" Mukumuku the flying squirrel hopped into the air, and made a small "boink" noise as he landed upon a windowsill, ready to evacuate at a moment's notice.  
  
Electrical sparks begin to fly from the business end of Clive's rifle as he prepared a rather large (and therefore devastating) shot for the traitorous oven.   
  
"Eat this, you piece of junk!"  
  
With a large shriek, the gun fired a massive shot into the oven. The sheer force of the shot created a shockwave which rattled benches, knocked over dishes, and threw members of the audience still standing backward upon their backsides.  
The flash from the rifle blinded all who beheld it, and for an excruciating few seconds all that existed within that room was bright blue light, and a deafening boom as the shot made contact with the enemy known as the oven.  
  
***  
  
For a long time afterward there was silence. Smoke filled all but the edges of the room. People could be heard mumbling in anxiety and terror.  
  
Slowly, Flik raised his head from behind the upraised judge's table.  
  
"Man... that was one heck of a shot..."  
  
Viktor jumped to his feet quickly, grinning in his bearish manner.  
  
"It wasn't really all great. I could have taken that shot easily."  
  
From out of the ocean of smoke, Clive appeared, aiming his rifle at Viktor.  
  
"Want to test that out, you lousy excuse for an equipment inspector?"  
  
With a bewildered yelp, Viktor backed away, holding his hands palms outward in a protective manner.  
  
"Uhhh...! No, nothing, I didn't say anything. And anyway, weren't you going to... err... shoot the stove anyway? Surely a great chef like you would know it... would spice up the dough."  
  
Clive narrowed his eyes, sliding the rifle back into his cloak.  
  
"You're partially right... I'm not all that good of a cook anyway."  
  
That said, the bounty hunter exited the room just before the clearing of the smoke. When all was visible, it appeared that the only casaulty of the explosive shot was a defective oven.  
  
Viktor fell back into a chair, letting out a long sigh of relief.  
  
"That was close... bring out the next contestant when things are cleaned up again."  
  
Hero nodded, taking his seat uneasily. Flik sat without a word, surveying the damage done by Clive's rifle with dissaproval.  
  
Hardly anyone noticed the stealthy "boink" and the landing of a particularly skilled flying squirrel upon a simple wicker chair.  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED- 


	4. Contestant Number Three!

CONTESTANT NUMBER THREE - TAI HO!?  
----------------------------------  
  
A couple of hours after what became known thereafter as the "Clive-enation" of the oven, the contest was ready to begin again!   
  
Viktor gave the cleaning crew of the kitchen a fairly generous amount of potch as pay for the ordeal of cleaning up the destruction caused by the aforementioned bounty hunter's wrath. Within a few minutes, everything was set up as it was before, and the audience was ready to see more cooking, and less rampant destruction.  
  
Viktor cleared his throat, and began to speak.  
  
"Welcome back, everyone. Hope you all enjoyed the brief... ah... interlude there. Now then, contestants, let's try not to match Clive's... enthusiasm there, all right?"  
  
There were sounds of hearty agreement within the audience.  
  
"Now, let's bring in our next contestant. Step on up... Tai Ho?"  
  
Hero's face drained of color.  
  
Flik looked utterly thunderstruck.  
  
"T...Tai Ho?"  
  
"Muku!"  
  
Viktor scratched the back of his head as he sat down.  
  
"Well, there's no way he could cause as much damage as Clive, right?"  
  
"I wouldn't put it past him..." said Flik as he let out a long sigh. "Well, let's let him have a go and see what happens."  
  
The sound of sandals slapping upon stone filled the area as Tai Ho stepped into full view. He wore his traditional brown robe, thin headband, and wide grin. Laughing, the fisherman waved to the audience.  
  
"Hey everybody. May the best fisherman win, right?"  
  
The audience cheered loudly. Although they were confused by Tai Ho's words, so far he seemed the least likely to prematurely end his alotted time with a nervous breakdown or an act of destruction.  
  
"You can start whenever you're ready, Tai Ho," said Viktor, seating himself in his chair once more.  
  
Flik bit his lip nervously.  
  
"This'll be interesting... one way or the other..."  
  
Tai Ho wasted no time. When he was given the go-ahead, he reached for a stack of fish. Snatching up half a dozen small trout in each hand, he tossed them into the air. As the flying fish went on their aerial adventure, the fishing madman kicked a pan, catching it before it clattered to the ground. Glancing up quickly, he saw that the fish were starting to come down, so he smoothly lit a stove nearby, before catching each fish snugly within the pan. Sliding the pan onto a table, Tai Ho reached for a spice rack, taking a spice every three spaces from another. He then proceeded to slam the tops of all the spice bottles onto a counter loudly, causing a simultaneous opening sequence.   
  
"I'm just getting warmed up, everyone!"  
  
Tai Ho sprinkled a little of each spice onto the fish in the pan, then left the bottles on a counter. Grasping the handle of the pan, Tai Ho put it onto the now heated stove top. When this was done, he took each spice bottle one at a time, and threw them with daunting accuracy back onto the spice rack.  
  
These daring moves earned wild applause from the audience, as well as cheers of support.  
  
"Well I'll be..." said Viktor.  
  
"How does he... do all that..." said Flik.  
  
Mukumuku, fittingly, said "Muku!"  
  
Hero said nothing. Once more his dumbfounded expression was more expressive than a thousand words.  
  
***  
  
After twenty minutes of dashing techniques and flashy moves, Tai Ho had finished cooking. Grinning widely, he slid four plates, four small bowls, and four bottles in front of the judges.  
  
"Here we have stir-fry trout, spiced with too many things to count. There's soy sauce in the bowls in case you like dipping. And to wash it all down, bottles of my specially brewed sake," declared Tai Ho.  
  
Viktor laughed, fitting a bib around his neck.  
  
"Hey, it's about time we actually got a meal. Nice work, Tai Ho."  
  
Flik nodded in agreement, taking a chopstick in each hand.  
  
"Looks like you really know how to cook, Tai Ho."  
  
"Muku!"  
  
Hero smiled appreciatively at the fisherman.  
  
With earnest, the four judges ate the meal presented before them. Within a few minutes, they had devoured each and every bit of trout.  
  
Viktor leaned back in his chair, patting his stomach with content.  
  
"Ahhh, that was great!"  
  
Flik burped lightly.  
  
"I can't eat another bite."  
  
"Muuuukuuuuu."  
  
"Tai Ho," said Flik, "What did you use to spice the trout? It really had some kick to it."  
  
Tai Ho grinned with glee.  
  
"A few things. Mostly peppers and herbs."  
  
Viktor frowned.  
  
"Has kind of a... bitter aftertaste."  
  
Tai Ho nodded.  
  
"A friend of mine from a few years ago named Ledon showed me how to make something called Robber's Tea, and I thought it'd make a great contrast to the spices I used. It's an adventure for all your taste buds, wouldn't you say?"  
  
Viktor jumped up, knocking his chair away.  
  
"You mean you put that stuff in the trout?!"  
  
Tai Ho shook his head.  
  
"No no, why would I do that?"  
  
Viktor looked relieved.  
  
"I put it in the sake. I mean, why would you want to pour tea on a trout? I'm not crazy, you know," said Tai Ho.  
  
Viktor sprang toward Tai Ho, reaching for his throat.  
  
"I'll wring your neck, you stupid schon offf aaaaa..."  
  
It was too late. Viktor fell on his face, snoring loudly.  
  
By that time, the other three judges had fallen asleep. Flik was half buried in the sauce of his plate, Hero was leaning back in his chair with his face up in the air, and Mukumuku had merely curled on the floor next to the table.  
  
Tai Ho rubbed his beard thoughtfully.  
  
"I was wondering why it was called Robber's Tea... funny, I drink the stuff all the time. I wonder why this doesn't happen to me."  
  
Yam Koo walked up to the stage, seizing Tai Ho's arm gently.  
  
"Bro, you drink Green Tea, not Robber's Tea. Now, let's go back to the audience and let the judges give them the antidote."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Immediately after the brothers had stepped off the stage, Doctor Huan rose to his feet, smiling in his scholarly manner.  
  
"Sorry everyone, this will just take a minute."  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED- 


	5. Contestant Number Four!

CONTESTANT NUMBER FOUR - HIX!  
-----------------------------  
  
Viktor sat up and yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes with both hands.  
  
"Erg... what happened...?"  
  
Flik stood, stretching, before rubbing his head.  
  
"Tai Ho slipped that Robber's Tea stuff into the sake..."  
  
Viktor snapped his fingers, his face taking on a menacing countenance.  
  
"That stupid, crazy fisherman! I'll hang him by his throat with his own fishing rod!"  
  
"Muku!"  
  
Viktor glared at Mukumuku.  
  
"That's your solution to everything!"  
  
Meekly, the flying squirrel became silent.  
  
"Viktor, calm down. We've got to continue the competition. Anyway, I enjoyed the extra sleep," said Flik.  
  
Viktor sat down, a frown remaining on his face.  
  
"Fine. Let's bring on the next contestant. The next entree is... Hix."  
  
Hesitantly, the young warrior himself stepped forward. Bowing cautiously, he smiled nervously and waved to the audience, who responded with mild applause.  
  
"H-hi everyone."  
  
"Hix, you can start when you're ready," said Viktor, sitting in his chair and wiping some sleep from his eyes.  
  
Loudly, Tengaar called from the audience.  
  
"C'mon Hix! This'll be easy! Just remember the recipes!"  
  
Hix rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, using his free hand to seize a wad of dough. Slamming it onto a tabletop, he used both hands to knead it steadily. Leaving the dough when it became flat and circular, the young warrior walked to a nearby shelf and grabbed a can of tomatoes. Within a few minutes, he had created a red mixture, which he poured onto the top of the flattened dough. Taking some cheese which had been prepared for use in the competition, he sprinked it over the mixture and the dough until there was a subtle layer to cover it all. Scooping an iron platter underneath the dough, sauce and cheese, Hix approached the oven, biting his lip nervously as he tried to recall the next step.  
  
"Heat to four-hundred... or is it two-hundred fifty... darn..."  
  
Seemingly out of nowhere, a small scrap of paper drifted from among the ranks of the audience, landing in front of Hix's nose. Taking the scrap, he soon saw that it was a note, which said "Heat to two-hundred seventy-five for fifteen minutes, then cool for five minutes. I love you!"  
  
Hix blinked, and put the food into the oven.  
  
"That sounds right... what an odd note to drift down here like that," he thought to himself. "I should find out who it belongs to, they'll probably miss it,"   
  
The audience clapped for Hix. They saw that he was nervous, but had a careful, steady way of preparing food. A very good character trait for an aspiring chef.  
  
Flik smiled slightly.  
  
"Good. Hix's not a show-off, but he gets the job done. He does the Warrior's Village proud."  
  
"Muku!"  
  
Next, Hix began to make a simple salad of lettuce, onions, and tomatoes. He was starting to prepare a creamy sauce to go over it when he once again struggled to remember the recipe.  
  
"Crushed green... no, red pepper... no wait, it was green... and some basil... hang on, basil doesn't belong in salad dressing..."  
  
He was about to abandon the idea of the salad dressing when another scrap of paper drifted down from the audience, landing next to Hix's bowl of salad. Hix cautiously picked up the paper, which was inscribed with the message: "Green and red peppers crushed with sweet onions, beet paste, and cucumbers to spice the salad. You can do it, you're supposed to be a warrior!"  
  
The young man scratched his head with puzzlement.  
  
"Another note... how many warriors are running around this castle? Oh well, might as well try it."  
  
The salad was finished in fairly short order. While the oven was cooking the main course, Hix served up four bowls of his salad, giving one to each judge. Eagerly, they dined on the salad, approving of it heartily.  
  
"This really hits the spot!"  
  
"The salad's mild, but the sauce is spicy. Good stuff."  
  
"Muku!"  
  
The fourth judge merely smiled in approval and gratitude to Hix.  
  
"Aw, it was nothing... thank you..." said the young warrior shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.  
  
A voice from the crowd rang out "You're doing great, Hix! Keep it up!"  
  
Hix nodded, waving in the general direction of the voice.  
  
"Thank you..."  
  
A few minutes later, the oven had finished cooking the main course. When Hix placed it on the table, it was revealed to be a pizza. As it cooled, he dropped pepperoni, onions, and bits of ham over the cheese.   
  
The young warrior paused, realizing that he was forgetting something.  
  
"Darn! I'm missing something important... I got the pizza... the salad..."  
  
Among the shadows near the edge of the audience, a certain young woman was aiming a projectile at Hix. With sniper's accuracy, she launched the triangular bullet, which hit Hix square on the forehead.   
  
Blinking, Hix rubbed his forehead, looking down at the triangle of paper ruefully. Snatching it, he unfolded it, and read the following:  
  
"You forgot the drinks, dummy!"  
  
"Oh!"  
  
Hix put the note in his pocket, and walked over to a series of barrels. Taking four mugs, he poured a foamy drink into each. When he was finished, he placed four plates of pizza slices, and four mugs in front of the judges.  
  
"I-it's r-r-ready."  
  
Eagerly, all four of the judges began to eat.  
  
***  
  
"Whew, that was great," said Viktor.  
  
"You really outdid yourself Hix," said Flik.  
  
"Muuuuku!"  
  
Hero nodded appreciatively.  
  
"It w-was r-really good?" asked Hix, smiling a little.  
  
Flik replied, "The best one yet."  
  
"Whooooo! Go Hix!" screamed Tengaar from the audience.  
  
"Hix, you've done well. Go ahead and join Tengaar in the audience until the competition is over," said Viktor.  
  
Hix nodded.   
  
"A-a-all right... thank you..."  
  
With that, the young warrior left the stage, and a small crew of volunteers gathered the used plates, mugs, and utensils.  
  
"When things are cleaned up, we'll be ready with the next contestant. In the mean time..."  
  
Viktor rose, heading out the nearest exit.  
  
"Viktor, where do you think you're going?" asked Flik.  
  
"Nature calls, warrior boy," replied Viktor, waving absently with one hand.  
  
"Oh. Guess we'd all better take a break."  
  
"Muku..."  
  
-TO BE CONTINUED- 


End file.
